Happy Valentines Day.
I guess the fact that Valentines Day fell on a Monday is fitting, two days you kind of wish you could skip past. I will happily acknowledge the fact that Valentines Day is (for the most part) a load of old shite. It is a commercialized tradition that actively encourages us to spend ridiculous amounts of money on public displays of adoration. I find it a little bit embarrassing to say the least however I am NO Valentine Grinch. There is a part of me, the hopeless romantic, that is totally here for a day all about love. Hear me out – without the over priced roses and the Thorntons sell outs, can’t Valentines just be a nice day about recognising and showing love? Sure, we can do that any day of the year, but often life gets in the way and we need that gentle reminder to be romantic or make someone feel extra special. Whether you like it or not, Valentines Day does exactly that. This year it got me thinking about love in general and what it really means to be loved, be that romantic or not.
These days I have realized that the public displays of love, just isn’t me. I am a sensible person who believes so strongly in love. I do. But love to me, isn’t about fireworks and butterflies. You see often we often imagine love is that big, all consuming force of nature we read about, but in reality, love is a very quiet thing. Love is just a breath, a sense of calm, a steady feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on. Maybe true love is way more mature than you ever imagined. Maybe it is rational, even keeled. Maybe it isn’t anything more than what this is, right here in this little moment. Love is still. Love is simple. Love doesn’t define you. Love, in a way, is neutrality.
To find and love your person, whoever that may be, should feel comfortable rather than fervent. When you’re with your person, you should feel at home. Like you can be yourself. Like there’s nothing you really need to hide, no feelings you need to censor, no truths you need to deny. Your person should know the real you, the person you usually hide from the rest of the world because you are actually quite weird. Your person should accept you, wholeheartedly, without question.
Your person should make you feel comfortable opening up about your emotions, even the annoying ones you wish would disappear. Your person won’t invalidate your feelings. They won’t roll their eyes or accuse you of overreacting when something is bothering you. They will be there for you, and listen closely to you, even when what you’re saying is hard to hear. They will remind you it’s okay to feel, okay to vent, okay to be undeniably you.
So if you celebrate Valentines Day or not, maybe instead of the big I LOVE YOU, you can round off this year thinking about someone in your life who you love and consider what it is that makes you love them? What is it that they do they do that shows you they love you? This is unlikely to be the huge bouquet or the declaration on Instagram. How do you know you’re really loved?
Acknowledge that, celebrate it.
Happy Valentines Day x